Another Mistake Wrapped Over My Shoulder {Myles}

[Cynthia Wood]

<sup>Joseph was not stupid. He wasn’t. Unlike Cynthia, who was legitimately idiotic and probably clinically retarded in several states, he could see a church by daylight. He could probably even tell you which of Shakespeare’s plays that quote is in. In fact, it was Much Ado About Nothing. Joe knew the quote because he had read the play because he could read.

Joseph was not nice. He wasn’t. There was so much more to Joseph than met the eye, but that was because what met the eye usually wasn’t really who Joe was. Yes, he was sweet. He was genuinely sweet to most people, but nice implies that you can forgive. Nice implies that you can forget. Nice implies that you can allow other people to do the same. Joe could do none of these things.

He was smarter than Cynthia. He was meaner than Cynthia. And he was obviously more observant if that crap about Myles’s son was actually going to work on Cynthia. The kid was weird. He acted like he had a reason to involve himself in his father’s business. He acted like he understood completely what both Cyn and Joe were going through, and he knew exactly what to do to take advantage of that. Joseph knew from experience that children rarely were stupid enough to become that invested in their parents’ lives. Most people were much older than eleven before they became ignorant enough to assume they were now not too ignorant to understand their parents’ lives.

Joseph was not merely mean. He was furious. It was very different and much, much worse. He wouldn’t show his teeth when he smiled because he didn’t smile. He was unhappy and angry, and Joe wasn’t accustomed to this. It was like having a lump stuck in his throat. He didn’t think he was about to cry. He just thought that he wanted someone else to.

The floor of the Aphrodite cabin shook as Joe jumped down from his bunk. He looked around him curiously, half-expecting to see Myles already there. This was where the liar was supposed to be. He had no right to hide as if he was afraid of what everyone else would do to him. If Myles were man at all, he would take what he deserved. Joe had to admit that he was not the kind of person who could give Myles what he deserved, and he sincerely regretted this shortcoming.

It was not a good time to realize that is was imprudent to even consider challenging Myles. It would have been a good time seventeen years ago when Joe first began to miss out on building rudimentary muscles. Now Joe was stuck. He couldn’t let it lie, and he could hardly do anything about it.

Joe ran a hand through his hair anxiously. He lived to avoid fights. He lived because he avoided fights. Joseph didn’t have to do this by himself. There were other people that would pick a fight with Myles. He could just quietly spread a rumor about Benjamin Vengeance and wait for nature to take its course. Cynthia loved to pick fights with people much stronger than she was. Joe would be mean for denying her the opportunity.

A hand that seemed completely foreign smacked Joe’s nose in. And then what are you going to do? Just let- no, put up with, because there’s no way you’ll actually stop him. Just put up with Myles doing whatever he wants for the rest of his life, which is going to be much longer than the rest of your life? If he’s afraid of the rest of this camp, and you’re afraid of him, what does that make you? A coward squared? He griped the bridge of his nose angrily. His hand shook from the stress it was under. You are a coward squared. You’re afraid that just because he’s a coward, it means he cares. And if he cared about Mindy, what reason would you ever offer to make her chose you? ‘My kids would be blonder than Myles’s, and blondes are more widely accepted in society. We would never fear racism’.

So, for the sake of accepted blonde children, Joe was going to go and tell a little boy exactly what he thought of him – although this “him” might turn out to really be his father. Oh, Gods, what if Benjamin really was who he said he was, and Joe just went up to him and started blaming him for being his father? He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t handle the stress. Evolution had never said anything about the butterflies in Joe’s stomach turning to woodpeckers.

Coward squared.

Joe covered his face with both hands. He took deep breaths. Okay, he was definitely a coward. He didn’t need to deny that. All he had to do was prove that he was less of a coward than Myles Vengeance. Joe was. For once in his life, he was going to be better at something that really mattered than his brother was.

Mechanically, his legs walked him out towards the door. A little animal squirmed inside of Joe’s gut, reminding him that he had no idea what his hair looked like before he went and potentially made a complete idiot out of himself. Joseph ran a hand through his hair once more self-consciously. He knew what mattered and what didn’t. This most certainly mattered. Why else would people be dressed up for their funerals?

The Hermes Cabin had given up on doorknobs long ago. For a long time, it had been a “push at the door and it will fall down” business, but now Chiron had seen the brilliance of a swinging door so children could run into it from either directions. Unless, of course, Aimée organized a team of demigods to run at it from one side and another to run at it from the other side simultaneously. She wouldn’t do that. Joe pushed at the door to the cabin, and it swung open invitingly. Joe wanted to turn down its unspoken invitation.

He stepped inside. Each movement was becoming more and more hesitant. The feeling of being pulled backwards to the Aphrodite cabin was mixing with an osteoporotic shaking of anger that Joe had no idea how to direct. It was getting very hard to walk, and Joe didn’t like it. “Benja-“ Joe paused. He didn’t want to sound like an idiot. He wasn’t going to let Myles laugh at him anymore than he already had. Joe wasn’t here to entertain him. His hands balled into fists, although he had no idea what they were expecting to happen. “Myles?”</sup>

[Jack Travidi]

<sub>Sitting on the lower level of a bunk in the Hermes cabin was an eleven year old Myles Vengeance, holding up a book as if he were reading it. He might have even found the book interesting, but he was too busy thinking instead. This whole act like a coward thing wasn't really working for him. He didn't like being eleven, and he already had a feeling Cyn was going to murder him when she found out.

Yes, that's right. Since returning Myles had essentially spent all his time thinking about how stupid his plan was. It would have made more sense for him to not even bother hiding who he was, but how do you explain where you've been for two years when you don't even know yourself? Especially when so many people hated you? And what about when you hated yourself?

Of course, Myles had no idea whatsoever where he'd been. He didn't even know where he'd been headed. All he knew was he left unannounced one day. Beyond that: blank.

Before those two missing years, though, were memories that stood out like they had happened just the previous week. Given the gap in his memory, to Myles, they did. He felt as guilty as the day he'd hurt Mindy, felt as cowardly as the day he'd ran off (the first time), and felt as stupid as the day Cyn returned from her visit with the Amazonian Women. Meaning he felt really guilty, really cowardly, and really stupid. None of those events had been pleasant.

He wasn't sure what he felt worse over at the moment. The fact that he was lying to Cynthia or the fact that he was lying to Joseph. Lying to Cyn was hard because she'd be pissed that he lied. Lying to Joe? That was much much harder. Joe hated him no matter what he did, though Myles couldn't say he didn't deserve it. Myles would be the first to admit that the guilt was easier to handle because Joe hated him for it. He'd also be the first to admit the guilt would be easier to handle if Joe forgave him. Yeah, like that was going to happen.

So Myles spent his days pretending to read books on a bunk that wasn't his, trying to convince the cabin that he was anti-social and to leave him alone while he tried to think things through and remember the two years he'd apparently been gone for. And then, as if right on cue, Joe was in the currently empty Hermes Cabin, alone with Myles.

"Well fuck."

This was the last thing Myles expected or wanted to deal with right now. He felt stupid (big surprise) for underestimating Joe's observational skills. Apparently his brother had noticed. The son of Aphrodite realized too late that he could have denied it and tried to convince Joe of who he was, but he also recognized that he didn't want to insult Joe's intelligence. No matter how tempting it was. Joe hated him enough already.

He put the book aside, not bothering to check his page. Myles didn't even know the title of the book, so he wasn't really concerned with how far in he was. "Hi Joe," he said quietly, standing up and moving so that he could see his brother. He gave an uneasy smile as he leaned against the side of the bunk bed. "Um..." He didn't know what to say, and he shifted uncomfortably. He debated returning to his usual age - 17, of course - before realizing he hadn't figured out how yet. It was a wonderful thing to realize when you wanted to be semi-intimidating, if only so your brother would think twice before decking you.</sub>

[Cynthia Wood]

<sup>Joe walked up to Myles until he was in the proximity that would have subjected him to thousands of gay jokes just moments before. “Change back,” he ordered. It felt as if all of his systems had shut down. The twisting in his stomach ceased and a horrible freezing sensation stopped the shaking. “Change back right now. I don’t plan on talking to you when you’re like this.”

He couldn’t have returned the smile if he tried. It was as if he had gotten botox to plaster his expression of resentment, misery, and anger onto his face. Joe really would have died if he had to go around looking like this everyday. He needed to stop blaming mean people for being ugly and just focus on how they should stop looking like they were mean all the time. It was the same problem.

Impatience gnawed at Joe. He couldn’t avoid what he was doing now, and he just wanted to get it over with somehow. “Actually, I will talk now.” That decision was not made based on the fact that Joe wasn’t wearing heels and didn’t want to be shorter than Myles on a day like this. “Where would you like me to start talking?”

His voice had been miraculously level given the circumstances. It wasn’t as calm and high as it regularly was, but it was just as stoner-slow. Now, however, his voice rose with each word until it turned to a shrill hamster call noise that Joe wanted to disappear entirely. He didn’t care if he was left mute, just as long as his voice stayed out of the picture. “Do you want me to start with why you left, why you returned, or why you should leave right now and never come back to Camp Half-Blood again?”

Joseph was not going to hit Myles when he was hiding as a little kid. He probably wouldn’t hit Myles at all, considering that he had felt both hit back at some point in his life, and neither were experiences he would like to relive. To be fair, Myles had never tried to seriously hurt Joe. If Little Myles could try and succeed, Joe was positive that Regular Myles could do. He wouldn’t refer to him as Big Myles in his head because he was worried it might make him laugh, and there was nothing threatening about that.

He wasn’t going to hit Myles because he couldn’t. The only thing he could do was what Cynthia referred to as the “sissy’s fight” or “Joe’s fight”. It involved nothing but catching Myles off guard and using just enough strength to push him back towards the wall. That was all Joe did. He pushed against Myles’s chest lightly even for Joe. He couldn’t help the fact that most people are genetically programmed not to want to fight children. The push probably wouldn’t have made an eleven-year-old boy budge at all, but Joe stepped stomped forward as he did so. “Change back, damn it. I know you can.” Joe wasn’t going to let Myles lie to him anymore, and each moment Myles spent as Benjamin was just making it worse.</sup>

[Jack Travidi]

<sub>Myles backed away ever so slightly as Joe approached, intimidated despite the fact that even as an eleven year old he could beat up his brother. He leaned away from Joe, though his feet refused to move. His smile turned to a frown, the words processing. "I can't. Rather, I don't think I can." Myles didn't want to try and fail right now. Not in front of Joe. Who would probably be very unhappy with him if he was unsuccessful. And Myles figured he looked unhappy enough.

Relieved that Joe was apparently going to talk anyways, Myles let himself relax slightly. The relief was short-lived. "Who are you to tell me why I left or came back? And who are you to tell me where I should and shouldn't go? Just because I feel guilty doesn't mean I'm going to just listen to your psychobabble." A look of annoyance crossed his young face, looking quite out of place, as his gaze drifted to the floor and he scoffed. "Well, I'll listen. But I'm not going to leave," he added, ragging his gaze up to look at his brother. He wished he'd looked up sooner.

He was caught off guard and off balance when Joe pushed him, stumbling backwards. He glared at his half-brother, though he knew he deserved a lot worse than that and found no reason to complain. Myles had expected Joe to hit him, after all. If all he received, so far, was a push, he wasn't going to complain.

"I seriously don't think I can change back," Myles stated again as Joe got closer and closer. Apparently 'no' wasn't a choice for an answer. Normally, Myles might have said something about no meaning no and all that, but he had a feeling Joe wouldn't appreciate the humor. At least, not coming from him and not now. "I can try, though," he added, letting out a dejected sigh. He looked at his feet again, needing to focus somewhere to change his age. Focus was important for this stuff, right? He shimmered for a moment, as he did when changing from visible to invisible, and vice versa, before he was no longer eleven.

"I'm not tall enough to be seventeen," he stated, still needing to look up at Joe. He was, in fact, currently fifteen. Myles' dark hair was longer and he had more muscle than before. The ratio of weight to height was off though, as if Myles had only just started working out regularly, which he had at fifteen. "One more try," he muttered quickly, focusing once more. He was then his usual self, age seventeen. And he was grateful for it. He didn't know how much patience Joe had with him, though he had a feeling it wasn't much.</sub>

[Cynthia Wood]

<sup>Joe wrinkled his nose. It wasn’t a sneer, but it did give the impression that Myles was one of the most disgusting things he had ever seen in his life. “I’m sorry. You misunderstood me. I don’t want you to lie anymore, old man. Not to me. You can keep messing around with the rest of this camp all you want.” He didn’t want to see Myles pretending to be eleven, and he certainly didn’t want to see Myles pretending to be seventeen as if he belonged in this camp. It was fundamental to Joe’s beliefs that Myles didn’t belong around any of the campers here.

“Maybe I’m not the person to tell you why you left, although I definitely can, but I’m the reason why you should leave, Myles.” There was a fist clenched around Joe’s chest in a completely different way than he had previously experienced around Mindy. It was amazing how all these emotions felt exactly the same: fear, hatred, love. How did people manage to not be confused? “You can’t just come back to camp suddenly and ruin everything that I’ve worked for, okay? People have moved on. Mindy has moved on, and if she can, I can. Do you think this is the right time for you to come and start screwing this all up? I- I won’t let you.” His confused fists were asking him what Joe’s plan for this was, but he didn’t pay attention to them. He probably should have.

He rolled his eyes. The inclination to laugh and call Myles a lump was very weak now. Being mad wasn’t like a completely new emotion in Joe’s head. It was more like all of his old emotions got really, really drunk and forgot what their purpose in life was, and they just happened to be really angry drunks. “Try to take this seriously. This is my life that you want to mess up for no reason at all.” Joe would admit it. He had no idea why Myles actually came back to camp. He assumed Myles was just vindictive that way.

If he was closer to Myles than his completely straight and non-incestuous brother would prefer, Joe was certainly closer to Myles than most people would risk. He was very careful to not touch Myles again, but the heat from their skin was so close that they might as well have been touching. However, they probably shouldn’t be touching. That was gay.

“You’re just screwing with this whole camp. That’s no different than what you used to do, but this time I don’t want you to change anything. There’s no space for you here, you lump.” Joe choked quietly in his throat. It was Cynthia’s fault. He couldn’t get that word out of his head. “I want you gone, Myles. I was lying when I said I didn’t care one way or another. I wish you were dead.”

Something inside Joseph knew that he was being completely unreasonable about his resentment. Unfortunately, that something was the majority whimpy side of Joe that he was ignoring at the moment. He had no right to be mad at Myles if Mindy and Cynthia could get over it, although Joe didn’t really care what Cynthia did. He wasn’t in love with her. Ew. He had standards. So Joe really couldn’t explain what was happening to him to make him loathe every single aspect of Myles’s being. It was a lifetime of resentment and jealousy pushed to a breaking point by the fact that Myles had targeted the person Joe had a real reason to be jealous for. Bastard.</sup>

[Jack Travidi]

<sub>It wasn't often someone acted in way that was extremely surprising to Myles. He'd been around long enough to be able to predict at least the general reaction of everyone around him. So it came as a surprise when Joe was suddenly much closer than necessary, and comfortable, and making his demands known. Joe, for the first time that Myles had ever seen, had grown a spine. Or maybe something else, but Myles once more had to resist making fun of his half-brother. It wasn't the right time or place, though Myles knew it probably never would be anyways.

Well. That was harsh. Old man? "I'm not trying to lie to you. I don't know how old I am, and doubt I could turn to the proper age if I tried." What else could he say about that? Myles would not be older than seventeen. Except maybe nineteen, but that was just so Cyn wouldn't be older than him. That had nothing to do with Joe.

"I seriously doubt that, given I don't even know why I left," Myles sneered, a note of annoyance in his voice. "And I'm not leaving. I'm not here for you, or for Mindy. She's been avoiding me, and I've been doing the same. I have no desire to bring up the... the past." His voice caught on the word. It didn't seem like it'd been two years. It didn't seem like they could have moved on so quickly. But it had been two years, and that was more than enough time for things to have changed. He ran a hand through his hair nervously, hoping what Joe said was true.

"As I said, I have no desire to cause problems for you. It's just an unfortunate coincidence that you saw me at all." Myles hadn't known what to do when he saw Joe. And he'd panicked. Panicked stupidly. If Joe and Cyn hadn't been there, he probably wouldn't have interacted with Joe at all, and he wouldn't be in this mess. Stupid universe. "And I am taking this seriously. Or as seriously as I can given the circumstances. Which suck, by the way." Looking Joe in the eye, Myles frowned. He refused to back away though, so they remained uncomfortably close.

Myles had to fight back a laugh. Joe must really hate me... It wasn't much a surprise, though Myles had been unrealistically hopeful. "Sorry to disappoint. As I said, I'm not here for you - at least, I hope not - and I certainly don't care that you wish I was dead. Well, I do, but not enough to go away." Myles stopped to think. Why had he returned? Having not made the conscious decision to return, he had to assume it was either on orders from someone - he hoped not Kronos - or because of one Cynthia Wood.

"I don't even know why I'm here, and I'm not leaving until I figure it out." The other reason he wasn't leaving? If he couldn't remember anything after leaving but before returning, then maybe he'd forget anything he did once leaving. Maybe that would be better... But no. Not until he talked to Cyn. That would decide everything. He could handle Joe's resentment and the camp's overall annoyance at his existence so long as someone would stand beside him. If she didn't want him there, then he'd leave. What would be the point of sticking around if no one wanted him there?

That gave Myles a way to justify sticking around. For now. Soon that reason wouldn't exist and he'd just be procrastinating the inevitable and acting more cowardly than he already was. And, looking at Joe, Myles had a feeling he'd be telling the truth sooner rather than later.</sub>

[Cynthia Wood]

<sup>Joe snorted. It was probably not the most attractive reaction he could have had at the moment, and it made all the fixing off his hair entirely useless. However, Myles didn’t know he had worried about his hair before coming in. If Myles didn’t know, it couldn’t be deemed stupid. He had seen people in the dressing rooms of the arena doing pep talks in the mirror. You stupid fatso, how do you expect to win a fight when you’re so sluggish? Lay off the damn twinkies. What, do you want to win because you sit on the enemy? That’s all you’ll be able to do, lump. He could see how it got their egos up. It would definitely help Joe feel confident to call himself obese.

“You can just go with the easy explanation. You were scared that you had finally screwed up so much. You thought you wouldn’t be able to take the ramifications of your actions. You were a coward, and you ran away.” Joe didn’t glare. He didn’t even look angry for a moment. He only looked worried. “That’s exactly what I did. I was afraid I couldn’t handle the ramifications of your actions, too,” he growled bitterly. It wasn’t a good growl. It was a kitten’s growl. In Joe’s world, a wolf would go “meow” meekly. “The only difference between us is that I was man enough to come back to camp and try to make things better. I could have hid from it just like you did. I wouldn’t have been able to hide quite as well as you could, obvi... ously.” Joe did not just say ‘obvi’ in front of his brother. He would do no such thing. He liked his pride. It was a trooper.

He grinned. It might have been a humorless grin, or he might have just been delighted. “That’s pretty ironic, isn’t it, Myles? Can you remember any other time I was more of a man than you were?” Maybe Joe wasn’t more masculine, but he definitely qualified as more of a man. “I’m always scared of being here. I’m scared that I’m not going to be able to hold it together, that Cynthia won’t start acting... I don’t know, normal again even though she finally got out of your stupid Titans service, or that Mindy will- will...” Joe trailed off. He didn’t have to hide anything about himself from Myles, and he could really care less about what Cynthia did. He was only upset that they used to have fun, and now it was so obviously forced and fake. Joe had written fucking scripts for them so that they could look like they were friends. However, he would not talk about Mindy in front of Myles like that. He would never talk to Myles about Mindy. Myles shouldn’t know anything about Mindy. All he needed to know that everything was his fault.

Everything was his fault: the rape, the pregnancy, the son, the fear, the running away. “How can you be so calm right now?” Something was scratching angrily at his stomach. It wanted Joe to do something. He was just going to embarrass himself trying to make Myles understand what he did. Myles was trying to take Joe seriously. He felt bad for Joe.

Joe would make him take him seriously.

His eyes flickered away from Myles’s face. When Myles was fifteen, they had been at eye level. Joe now had to look up several inches, but he was sure this was better than the alternative of wearing heels to talk to Myles. His fists tightened. He wanted Myles to feel real remorse, but mainly he just wanted Myles to hurt. If Joe had known how close this thought was to Myles’s, he might have rethought his actions. He knew how to fight dirty. He had seen Cynthia win fistfights against people twice her size. Somehow, kneeing Myles in the groin lacked a certain amount of style. Stepping on his foot would just reinforce the belief that Joe was a little kid and not to be taken seriously. Even Cynthia frowned on hair-pulling for being too girly unless you were strong enough to get their whole spine bent backwards and had a plan of where to go from there. He would not just scratch Myles randomly. Maybe if Joe actually got in a fight, he would resort to scratching or biting, but not in the middle of a conversation.

He curled his fingers tighter. He would never win a fair fight. Joe wasn’t strong enough to do anything. His eyes flickered down to Myles’s neck. His Adam’s Apple bobbed with every swallow. He had seen someone being strangled before. The actual choking didn’t require much strength at all. You just needed to get your hand in the correct placement. Joseph would have to make sure that Myles couldn’t push him off. He knew that Cyn favored pinning someone to the ground with her knees, but there was no way Joe was doing erotic asphyxiation to Myles. Of course, the Phantom of the Opera had killed a full-grown man when he was only a baby because he had a rope. Joe trusted the Phantom much more than he trusted Cynthia.

Joseph tried to push Myles back towards the wall again. “Apologize,” he spat. He wanted to see Myles be afraid. He didn’t want him to be afraid of the repercussions of his actions. Joe wanted Myles to be afraid of what he would do to him. It was a dream that was never going to come to, but Joe would try. His hand caught Myles under the chin, forcing his neck back. His thumb pressed in above Myles’s Adam’s Apple. “If you aren’t going to apologize to me sincerely for everything you did, I don’t want to hear it anymore, okay?”</sup>

[Jack Travidi]

<sub>With a tired expression, Myles looked at Joe, quirking an eyebrow curiously. "That may have encouraged me to run, but it certainly wasn't the main reason I left, Joe. The easiest reason isn't always the right one." He refused to believe he would run for so long, solely because of cowardice. Avoiding everyone was an added bonus, but it wasn't everything to him. He had to have more of a reason. "And I would have been fine coming back if it weren't for you," he added quietly. It was the truth after all. Myles had been eleven upon arrival at camp. At first he didn't change back because he didn't know how long it'd been. After that? He didn't want to deal with Joe. Myles liked Joe being angry at him when he couldn't see it. Dealing with it just made him uncomfortable.

"You means besides the fact that you don't regularly fuck everything up, on purpose or accidentally, or the fact that you actually have a girl that likes you, or the fact that you are actually a good enough person to have real friends?" Myles wouldn't necessarily say these things made Joe more of a man than him, but that was simply because his pride couldn't take it. He could admit, though, that Joe was a much better person than him. "I didn't know how long I'd been away for. Do you have any idea how afraid I was that it'd somehow been decades and you were all dead? I know you wish I'd stayed away, but I don't think I've ever been that terrified in my life. Maybe that's because the only two people I care about are here and the idea of them dying terrifies me," something tried to surface in his memory, a small stirring before all was still, "- or maybe it's because I was afraid of how you'd react. Which was obviously justified."

Of course, at the mention of Cyn, who had in fact seemed quite off-kilter, Myles had to stop himself from asking questions. You know, how she was, how they were getting along (poorly from what he'd witnessed), did she still care about him (that one's a toss up). Stuff like that. He didn't think Joe would appreciate the questions, and so kept his mouth firmly shut. He had a much easier time not asking about Mindy, especially since Joe didn't seem to want to tell him anything. Besides, Joe said she moved on and was okay now, right? That meant either he, Myles, shouldn't concern himself with her well-being (he hoped she was, in fact, doing alright) or that Joe didn't want him to concern himself with her. So Myles refrained from saying anything, figuring if Mindy thought he could actually help somehow (doubtful) she would ask. Once he was permanently himself, that is.

"You want to know why I'm so calm? It's really a simple answer. I'm tired, Joe. I'm tired of feeling guilty and I'm certainly not about to get angry. Do you want me to get mad at you? You certainly don't deserve it..." This was Myles Vengeance we're talking about. He may be a coward, but he was fairly level-headed and good at keeping his emotions in check. He wasn't going to yell or get mad or even raise his voice. If he was talking to anyone else, he wouldn't think twice about it. But he refused to act that way towards Joe. His brother deserved more respect than he got from Myles, and the older boy knew it.

Myles didn't even try to move when Joe pushed him. He had seen his half-brother looking at him strangely and could predict the general direction this 'discussion' was going to take. While he wasn't surprised, Myles still let it happen. After staggering back a few steps, Myles stood straight, only to really be surprised. Joe's hand was at his neck, and his brother was threatening him. Myles knew better than to laugh, but he wasn't afraid of Joe. If he really wanted to, Myles probably could have taken his brother down, and quickly at that. But no. Myles wouldn't attack someone he'd hurt that badly. He refused. "I'm sorry I raped Mindy, I'm sorry she got pregnant, I'm sorry I ran like a fucking coward, I'm sorry I lied to you, and I'm sorry I hurt you." It was potentially the most sincere thing he'd ever said, right up there with telling Cyn that he would protect her two years ago. Granted, she hadn't believed a word he said, and he doubted Joe would believe him now. But Myles meant it all the same. "I'm really sorry Joe," he repeated, looking at the floor. He didn't want to look Joe in the eyes. At least not when he was repeating an apology so pathetically.

Unfortunately, there was nothing else Myles could say to Joe. He almost hoped Joe would choke him. Not to death; Myles wasn't suicidal. But Myles knew Joe wanted to hurt him and he would happily oblige. He owed his brother that much, and a whole lot more. Not just anyone could put there hand to the throat of Myles Vengeance, threatening to choke him no less, and have him just stand there.</sub>

[Cynthia Wood]

<sup>What are you doing? What’s wrong with you?

Joseph was not as strong as Myles. He knew that fact so well by now. Joe had been reminded of it everyday for the past two years. He had dealt with all the unspoken signals from Cynthia that he was not her first choice for anything. That had been fine. She hadn’t been his choice either. He couldn’t do anything to Myles that Myles wasn’t letting happen. At least, not if Joe tried to go for violence. Although kneeing Myles in the groin was still a very real option for Joseph.

That was the thing, though, wasn’t it? Myles would live knowing that he had hurt Joe. He would never even stop to contemplate the fact that he was automatically assuming he could hurt Joe. He just knew that he could. Joe had never hurt anybody. It wasn’t from lack of trying. He couldn’t. Nobody took him seriously enough to be hurt by what he did.

“Forget it.” His growls might have left everything to be desired, but they still had nothing on Joe’s real voice. If Bubble and Squeak hadn’t been a British food, people would have used it to describe Joe’s voice. Instead, he had gotten there too late. “If I’m not worth getting angry at, you don’t think I’ll have any real impact.” Joe stepped back, putting some good, ol’ heterosexual space between him and his brother.

At least if Myles had fought back and beaten Joe in less than a second, it would have meant he was scared enough to assume he needed to fight back. The little, immature part of Joe’s brain that really wasn’t so little had to wonder if Joe was experiencing the first stages of being in love with Myles. He had listened to far too many rants about Cynthia being unable to make Myles lose his cool. The immature part of Joe’s brain was being beaten up by the part that wished he could have beaten Myles up.

Joe’s lips curled down. It wasn’t a mean frown; it was only regretful. “You have one day to grow a pair and tell the rest of camp who you are, okay?” The fact that Joe knew well that Myles had no reason to listen to him would not stop Joe from bossing him around. “You’ve better be moved back into the Aphrodite cabin by the end of it, too.” He wouldn’t admit that he didn’t like knowing the Myles was sleeping ten feet from Mindy. It was really just that phrasing that made it sound so bad. Ten feet could fit a lot of demigods into it in this cabin. It was definitely less than a foot per demigod when you were struggling for floor space.

Joe wished he had considered keeping up the “my voice hasn’t cracked yet, but I don’t want you to know that” voice. He couldn’t switch back now just for one final comment. Besides, part of him knew that a goodbye like “good luck, Benjamin” was full of so many clichés it would be hard to see past it to why Joe thought it would be a good idea to ever whip out a phrase like that. So instead, Joe just left it with the farewell that had haunted many people on the path to forgiveness. “See you later, then. Tell me how it goes, okay?”</sup>